it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
