You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I am full of burrito and curiosity
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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