Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
