weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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