3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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