thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
