This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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