We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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