yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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