We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
