I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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