Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
