Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
