Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
bring money and cleavage
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
