dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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