i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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