I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
