worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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