I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize