She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
