how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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