So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
