Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
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