do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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