last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
