One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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