Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
