1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
