i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
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