I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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