I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
