Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
