all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize