Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I'm too high and old for this...
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Drunk is a universal language darling
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