I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
