p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
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