So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
