Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
