apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
