I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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