Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
