another moral hangover. fuck.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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