honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
