If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
