her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
