its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
