Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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