Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
