i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
