turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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