I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
