Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
