this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
