Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I need a burrito and a hug.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
