4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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