so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
