Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
In America we eat man semen.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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