dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
