If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Randomize
