who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
